Tomato Tomato

I woke up this morning with thoughts running through my head like mad, after a conversation I had with some lovely ladies last night about christianity. I hadn't much to say about it last night, but I guess after my tired brain had a rest and I had some time to think it all just came.

Now lets just get one thing straight, I DO believe in God. But nobody asked me. And I must say, I was a little insulted right off the bat.. but lets just move past that...

When I speak, I try to speak in neutral terms. there is a reason for this. I feel a person can often be reached better if approached that way. But also I believe you have to have respect for everybody's beliefs. Especially when we are all essentially trying to achieve the same thing. I mean no offence, disrespect, or disregard when I acknowledge something but don't verbally acknowledge it as God. Something like a strong feeling, or "message". Because whether it's come directly from God or from angels or from guides or whatever, the point is, it came. For someone who chooses to believe it was an angel, or a guide, can do so if they wish. But through that angel or guide came a message from "God". I do not believe it is wrong to think this. I do believe it is wrong to completely disregard the feeling or message in general, however. If chosen to believe that messages are coming from... well, somewhere, but how do you distinguish the difference between the good and the bad? The dark side or the light side, God or demons? Well, I think we are smart humans. If you want to believe that you were given gifts while on this earth to survive, then you can be sure to put all faith into trusting those giftsl. We all know when we are doing something bad. (okay maybe some people really don't, but I'm not going to get into the psychology of things). Or when someone is speaking and we know what they are saying is not good. We have all felt that right? I call it resonate. When something does not resonate well. Or when something does resonate well. I trust this. I fully completely trust this. Because I believe that we were given gifts, the tools we need to survive. That we will know when we are wrong. Nobody will take this belief away from me.

I do NOT go to church. But I have chosen to find my way in a different way. I am spiritual. What I do to hear these messages, is clear my mind. I call this meditation. Meditations is the act of getting my mind and body to relax so that my mind is clear. And when your mind is clear, everything else becomes clear. Answers to questions about things that you are unsure about. You also clear your mind to hear this. I send out positive affirmations, or, prayers. Doesn't matter what you call it, again I try to stay neutral. This is the act of sending out love and hope and all sorts of positivity to a person or people or yourself. Or asking for help or strength or guidance or compassion... the list goes on. Whether a person believes it is God who is listening or somebody else, whoever it is, is listening. All of us are being heard. Buddhists, muslims, hindus, jewish, christians, and even catholics. I do believe there is a darker side too however. those who choose to focus their energy and direct their "prayer" to negativity and darkness... well, perhaps its something else that is listening... but I don't want to get into it right now.

I believe once that I was healed. I was very very sick and unable to sleep from so much pain. I was feverful and painful and it was a struggle. I found myself slip into a half asleep state, after not being able to sleep for hours. In this state I had a vision. This vision consistant of many hands over me and a voice that told me what they were going to do, and this would help me. And then they told me what I needed to do. Together we did this. When I woke up in the morning, I was better. I believe this was a miracle. And I believe that I was helped by someone, something, somewhere. I had been healed. I am open as to who or what it was. And when I spoke of this experience, that is exactly how I spoke of it. You said it was God. That is what you believe. And by me leaving it open, I was not disregarding God by any means. Because I believe that whether it was God himself or angels or guides or what have you, that this was the power of "God". But when I spoke, I chose to leave that space blank. What I believe is important. What it sounds like, or looks like, or what you think I believe, not so important.


Recently I found myself on a spiritual retreat in BC. It was truly a very positive and spiritual experience. However it was assumed that I didn't believe in God because i went on this retreat. And that this was a "New Age" retreat. Whatever that is... I try not to label things such as a persons beliefs as much as I can. Maybe this experience wasn't fully understood. In fact I know it wasn't fully understood because nobody asked me about it or about my beliefs. Truth is, we talked about God. We learned how to be closer to God. We learned how to clear our minds so that everything else could become more clear. But it wasn't just about that. We also learned to recognize eachother's presence. It was about people and humanity and relationships, and being true to yourself. These are good people doing good things. Helping and teaching others. I don't believe this can be denied, it resonated very well with me. We were taught to be in a place of understanding, in a togetherness where collectively we exist in the same space. And this is how we will survive. These teachings are not unlike others I have heard of. In fact, what is it that you learn in church? If you don't mind my asking...


Now, lets you and me meet. Not at your house, not at my house, but in a coffee shop downtown. Together on this "neutral plain" we will meet. And we will talk. Drop your terms, drop your names, and drop your labels. And I will drop mine. You say, if you listen, you will be guided. You will be given the answers you ask for and told what is right. I say, yes I know. I too listen and am guided and am given the answers I ask for and is told what's right. You say, please ask for strength and guidance for someone in need. I say, I will. Because together there will be power and strength in our asking. You say, careful, that feeling is there to let you know that its not right. I say, I know, I feel it too and it is not right. You say, you were healed. And I say, yes, I was healed. And when it is time time to leave the coffee shop and we both go out the door and go our separate ways, we will both leave with a sense of unity. We will both walk away with a feeling that we understood eachother. And perhaps a small sense of achievement for what we have accomplished as a collective consciousness (on the same page). We will walk away. And on Sunday you will go to church. And someday, I will go back to my retreat.



I appreciate every single word that was said to me last night. And I love you both so much it hurts. xo